I used to work with a guy who had an interesting outlook.  I was never able to tell if he was just joking or if he really took seriously the two notions I’m about to write about.

We were talking about collecting things once.  Somebody mentioned that he had a coin collection.  This guy I’m referring to said that he collected money too.  In fact he collected not only coins but also paper bills.  He had an extensive collection.  He kept it all at the Bank of Oklahoma.  He did not care what year the coins were minted nor did he care where they were minted – only that they were legal tender.  In other words: he had a bank account.

Smartass.

Then another day we were discussing nuts, bolts, and screws.  I mentioned that I had picked up a little chest with tiny drawers from my Dad’s shop when he passed away.  It had all sorts of screws and nails – the sort of things you might need fairly often.  It’s kind of nice to have but not useful all that often. Plus it takes up storage space.

The guy piped up and said he had a huge collection of hardware.  You name it, he had it.  Nuts, bolts, screws, nails, hinges.  Mention just about any form of hardware and he had it in all sizes.  It was all neatly arranged in bins and carefully labeled.  He kept it all at a warehouse called “Home Depot” and not only did they organize it for him, they restocked whenever he came in and took something.  He paid them to do this for him; he paid them every time he went in and got something.

Again…smartass.

I began to take everything he said with a grain of salt and when he told me he had over 50,000 golf balls I did not take him seriously.  I assumed he meant that he kept them at the pro shop at the local golf course and he paid them whenever he went inside to get some.  But then I went to his house one time and sure enough, in his garage were many plastic totes filled to the rim with golf balls that he had picked up over the years as he went running after work.  His route took him around LaFortune golf course and he never passed a ball without picking it up. 

So you never know when somebody’s being serious and when they’re just being a smartass.

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