Evan has been a lifeguard for several years now and Erin has been working the concession stand for a couple of months.  Between them they tell some pretty amusing stories.  But even with all the stories that get told around the dinner table, there are those that we only hear much later.

Like the story of the frogs.

Lifeguards sit on a stand when they’re on duty.  The stands at one of the pools (and maybe all of them) have a pipe that an umbrella stand can be placed into.  Lifeguards rarely make use of umbrellas; preferring to get the sun and the subsequent tan.  This pipe apparently became a favorite place for frogs to take shelter. 

When I asked how they knew, Evan told me it was because they would hear the croaking sound amplified by the tubular shape.  I had at first imagined that they had tried to shove the umbrella stand down it and felt the resistance as they smashed into a frog but apparently it was the sound that spooked one of the girl lifeguards out of the stand.  They could stand up to the bloody videos of first aid during their training classes but apparently could not stand the thought of a frog sharing the stand with them.  For some reason, they tasked Evan with removing the aforementioned frogs.

His solution combined practicality and fun; he removed the pipe and slung it, letting centrifugal force propel the frog from the pipe as well as giving them a nice arc-shaped flight to the grass beyond.  This met with outrage on the part of the female lifeguards. 

Well, you can’t please some people.  Thereafter, he was still called upon to evict the croaking frogs but made sure nobody was looking when he slung them on their way.  Apparently it was quite fun. 

They both gripe about having to clean up nacho leftovers.  Usually the guards are responsible for cleaning the pool deck and the furniture and the concessioners get to clean the little kitchen but if there’s a big enough mess on the deck, they all help out.  Apparently the nacho cheese that we all know and love from baseball and football games is a bugger to clean off of concrete pool decks and patio furniture. 

Snow cones that are dropped and left to melt also have a bad reputation.  Luckily, there is a bleaching spray that will take care of the bright red stains.

There are also stories of poop in the pool and pool closure due to throwing up.  It seems that poop can be dealt with by a two-hour chemical treatment; vomit closes the pool for the rest of the day due to its eight hour treatment.  It was new to me that lifeguarding involved so much janitorial work.  In spite of the fact that they are paid by the hour, they seem delighted to close early and come home.

I look forward to more of these as time goes on and they remember them later.

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