Well, this year’s talent show at Indian Springs Elementary is now history and in typical fashion, was about as much “show” as “talent”. I don’t mean my children, of course – they displayed talent that was far and away better than any others’. Not that I’m biased.

I video-taped the whole thing by request of the PTA so I guess now I’ll have to make a copy for the PTA which implies that I’ll have to watch it again – the whole two hours. I’ll stock up on aspirin first. They plan to show it during the next fundraiser which will be a pizza party at the local pizza joint. They have a big-screen TV there which normally shows the Cartoon Network constantly. I can only imagine what our video will do for their business. If I see one more kid lip-syncing (poorly) to Britney Spears I don’t know what I’ll do.

I enjoy video-taping things like that because I get the best seat in the house. Of course, about halfway through the thing, I realized that I was the official audio-visual geek and suddenly I saw it in a new light. But being the geek these days isn’t so bad. At least two people stopped by and grumbled about their cameras messing up or not understanding how to work them well enough to get good videos and if mine looked good could they get a copy? Hmmm… possible money maker there. I almost had one guy ready to give me his (technically superior) camera in exchange for a decent video. (Would I really do that? For a cool tech-toy, I’d do it in a heartbeat.)

I have to hand it to the kid who played the violin. She didn’t play it well, but she at least played it which has always impressed me. She had dogs howling all over that end of town but “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” was at least recognizable so for a second grader, that’s not too bad. I’ve always been amazed at the variety of sounds that a violin will make. Unfortunately, this little girl showed the possible down side to this.

The girl who did some clogging was most impressive. I don’t like clogging that much but you can always see when somebody is doing it right or not and she had us all clapping. Reminded me of something I heard Jack Handy say once: “Isn’t a lot of what we call tap-dancing really just nerves?”

My favorite was a boy who did a magic show. He put his big sister in a box and shoved lots of swords through the box. Now who wouldn’t want to do something like that? They were a big hit.

We were also graced with a version of Stupid Pet Tricks. This little dog got up on stage and could sit and stand up but other than that, she pretty much just failed to pee on the stage or bark at everyone. Around my house that would be considered true talent (for the dog that is) but on stage it seemed somewhat lacking. My dog of course would never display such self-control; it would be somehow degrading to her dignity to give up her personality like that to another. That’s why she lives outside. I suppose it might be possible to arrange a show around the dog’s particular talents. 

“OK Dixie … go sniff crotches!”

“Now… eat crumbs off the floor!”

Melissa, as PTA prez was not in charge but everyone thought she was. As such, she spent most of the time out of sight helping deal with various problems and didn’t get to see about half of the whole thing so I guess the video will be a good thing for her. Of course, when each person’s little darling takes the stage, all the other no-talent hacks are forgotten and we only see our little stars. We don’t hear the mistakes or see any faults. We hold our breath and think about how great they are to be up there doing what they’re doing. I guess that’s why we’re there.